We're moving up!!

Hi friends! It has been so long since I've let anyone know how we are doing. I am hopeful that after the first of the year I will be better able to keep up better than I have. I suppose hope springs eternal so we will see how I do. This quick post is to share some photos that I took yesterday...of the house that we are planning to purchase in mid December. (Yeah!!!)

For the last 15 years we have been blessed to live in a little craftsman type cottage. When we first moved in the 1100 square feet seemed just perfect. It held our kitty cat and our dog and our stuff with no problem. After Aaron was born it still seemed just right for us. And after I left my teaching job to stay at home it was a blessing to have a house payment that we could easily handle on one income. Add in Addison and then four years later Aiden and all of the equipment that goes along with a child with a disability (oh and somewhere in there we got a 2nd dog), and you have a rather crowded 1100 square feet. (Actually, this is a significant understatement :) )

Three years ago we began looking earnestly for a new home. It has been an up and down search taking us through several contracts (that were not fulfilled), long nights staring at the Remax website, and many visits to houses that were not for us. I am so glad that this process may finally be over. We have waited on the Lord to direct us and feel that this is the house. Yesterday our hopes were confirmed by our home inspection. Our friend and contractor, John, went through the house with us and said that he would not be afraid to move in to this house!! So we are preparing to move!

I took pictures yesterday and would love to share them with you. I have included pictures of the house from the road, the livingroom, the kitchen, the upstairs hall ), and the view from the porch. We will look forward to having visitors after the first of the year!

Blessings to you all,

Christa

It's been a long, long time....

Dear Friends,

I don't even really suppose that there are any of you still checking; it's been so long since I blogged, but I find that maybe I have some new interesting news! So here goes with our latest.

Over the last six or seven months I have really felt called to create a group for moms with children with disabilities. As some of you may know I have attended a moms' group in Richmond, and found some great support, information, and friendship. I spent time praying about the possibilities; I sought wise counsel from people who know me and who I trust, and I waited. Right before we left for our family vacation the beginning of September Bethann (our PT) and I decided that the time was right. That having been said, Valley Moms was born!!!

As a result of 12 fliers placed around Staunton and Augusta county and a couple of friends spreading the word, six moms and one dad made their way to Ciro's in Verona for the inaugural meeting of Valley Moms!!! (I was thrilled that anyone showed up at all.) We ate Italian and sat around and chatted. It was great to be able to share information and make new friends. We will meet the 3rd Thursday of each month (with exceptions for holidays). Our meetings will be informal for this part of the year. It is our hope that in the spring we will be able to provide some more informational type meetings. If you know any moms who are caring for special kids and may need an hour or two of pizza and soda send her our way!!!

A quick update from our home...Dave is maintaining things at the golf course. He is looking forward (as he always does this time of the year) to the possibility of snow (and lots of it he would say). Addison, Aaron and I have finally started at the ACE co-op. They are each taking some classes and I am co-teaching an art history and techniques class to 2nd/3rd graders. I am looking forward to the kids making many new friends and I am enjoying being a teacher again. Speaking of teaching, I completed both of my graduated classes and am awaiting my renewed teaching license. Finally, Aiden is doing well. What is well, you may ask? He is continuing to walk well unassisted. Things that I thought that he would never do (squat to stand, tricycling, walking at the park in the mulch, etc) he is doing. Stairs are still a challenge. Going up is improving much faster than going down, but at least we have the chance to practice. We are still looking for some really good reliable regular attendant care so if you know anyone let me know:). I am truly blessed.

Please pray that we will find really good people to work with Aiden. It is difficult to find someone to trust with your child. Also, pray that we will see changes in Aiden's ability to speak. We are trusting the Lord with this daily. Finally, Shann0n and her family have had some very serious challenges recently. Please pray that they would have wisdom and peace in the midst of difficulty.

Blessings to you all.
Christa

A week-end to remember

Like I've said before, I have trouble with the picture part of this blogging thing. So these pictures chronicle a small part of our week-end adventure.

Mom, the kids, 2 cousins and I headed out Saturday afternoon to the Louis Ginter Botanical Gardens. It was a beautiful day; perfect for being outside in a garden. Besides, they have a live butterfly exhibit that is really cool. (Thus the picture of the butterfly above.)

We walked, saw butterflies and in the children's garden we got wet! Aiden has never been in a water park or in a sprinkler for that matter. It has really only been just a year that he has tolerated being in a bath tub, so this

was an experiment for us. To my joy and surprise, Aiden really liked the water. He stood with me and got his hands wet. He let Aaron help him while the sprinklers got him. He even laughed and when I put him back in the stroller, he chose to get up and get wet again! It was a fun and peaceful day.

Unfortunately, it ended with Aiden sick. It would be lovely to say that the picture of him sleeping was the result of being tired at the end of a special day. Actually, it is a picture of Aiden Sunday asleep on the floor in the living room with a fever of 101-102. This is also after the vomiting and being awake off and on all night.

We missed Monday's therapy, but that worked out well because Addison started with the virus on


Sunday night. Both of them ran fevers on Monday
(Addison's up to 103.5). I took Addison to the emergency care center Tuesday to have a culture done. It turns out Aiden was exposed to rotavirus; hand,foot and mouth disease; and strep throat!!! I decided that if Addison had strep then I would have Aiden done; otherwise I would save him the trauma (and myself honestly) of a throat culture. The quick strep was negative. We're waiting on the culture. At this point I think that the virus is totally unrelated to our exposures!

We missed a total of 2 days; yesterday was our first day back in therapy. Aiden was a little weaker than usual, but he worked hard. Today was even better. He is showing signs of really improving in his upper body strength. I am excited to see the results even this early.

Please pray that Aiden remains healthy and hardy for the remainder of our stay. Also pray that I am healthy. As self-important as it sounds, we really can't afford for me to be sick. Finally, thank the Lord for His faithfulness in this adventure!!!

Blessings to all,
Christa
PS. As I was writing my mom took my dad's temp.....101!!! :( Pray for him!

I have pics!

Greetings from Richmond. I hope that this finds all of you well and enjoying the beautiful weather. We are doing our best to get our week started. But more about that later.

I have finally gotten a card reader so that I can share some of the pictures of Aiden's first week back in intensive. Aiden started off with a bang. He showed off for Shannon; standing up and walking independently. His evaluation went well and Shannon has set some rather exciting goals for this session:

1. Aiden will pedal his tricycle independently with assistance
steering.
2. Aiden will pay attention to his surroundings so that he can safely navigate up and down obstacles of up to 2 inches.(I think that this is how it should read!!)
3. Aiden will walk up 4 stairs independently with close guarding.
4. Aiden will walk independently over uneven surfaces (grass, playground,etc) for 3 minutes.

For many of you these may seem rather simple goals. For us, they will be miracles of the most precious kind. As well, for Aiden to reach them he will have to work hard and long. It will require much focus and specific intent to motor map his brain, and this will come from practicing over and over. I thank Shannon in advance for the energy and discipline that will go into my son.

Now to the pictures. Some of the faces may be familiar. Shannon and Lindsey are in the pictures at the bottom. Aiden is suited up and ready to go. As you can see, Maisy is not

too far away. Aiden continues to love to be read to. I brought several new Maisy books so that we can rotate them and not get too bored. In the bottom picture Aiden in wearing the complete suit and is squatting down. The knee section of the suit makes bending very difficult--it is taking quite an effort to squat!

This session Aiden met Miss Cindy. She and Aiden took a walk outside for our first full day. He was a little unhappy when we walked past our van (his DVD player is inside), but he still worked hard. He was pretty wiped out that first day, but he didn't fall asleep this time. It just shows that
he is considerably stronger now than he was 7 months ago.

The pictures that are left (I still have not really gotten the hang of this blog thing and so the pictures that should be at the bottom are at the top.) are those of Aiden with a less than happy face. Let's face it, usually he is a happy-go-lucky guy who is content to have a sippy cup and a good movie on the DVD player. Well, Friday that was not the case. Shannon wanted him to pay attention as he stepped over hurdles. Aiden---not so much. There was screaming and fussing and (guarded by Shannon) some falling. Surprisingly, no tears. He was just mad, and didn't want to do what he needed to practice.

I know that it may seem silly or cliche for me to find a paralell between my son's unwillingness to work on what he needs to do and my own spiritual walk, but I can't help it. As a parent I want my child to work to be the best he can be. How much more does my heavenly parent want that for me? (or for any of you!!?) I kick and scream (and may actually have tears), but that doesn't change the fact that in order to grow I am going to have to work; practice being more like Jesus, work to love my family, exercise my faith to see it grow, discipline my heart to maintain an attitude of prayer. My tantrum will not change the fact that true growth is hard work.

Please pray for Aiden's hard work. Pray that the adults in his life will know how to motivate him. Thank God for the miracles that He is doing.

Blessings to all,

Christa

Getting back into the swing of therapy

Sometimes when you're not looking forward to an event the time leading up to it is really rather unpleasant. I have experienced some of that over the last several days. I have feared the unknown; what should I expect; would this time be successful; are we chasing after outcomes that are unrealistic? I have been facing down this particular spirit of doubt for the last several weeks. The thing is that I know that this is a particular attack aimed at bringing me down and directing the focus away from the miraculous.

I realized as we entered the center yesterday for our evaluation and the beginning of this new session that I have no control over any of this. It is not my situation. I can try to control the therapy, the child, the outcome (the traffic, the way my dad makes coffee.....) to no avail. It is a "Christa's hands off" program. I am not in control.

I have a hard time letting go. In much of my life things feel very out of control so I hold on to what little I can to find a sense of purpose; to have a focus. (I find it really funny that I have been trying to control the outcomes of Aiden's therapy when Aiden himself is what makes much of my life seem out of control.) I can no more control the sun rise or the rain fall than my life. If I accept that then I would be able to truly rest in the Lord. Oh to learn to rest in the Lord.

These personal issues aside, Aiden tolerated the eval yesterday and his first session today very well. We are six hours down on the 45 that we will ultimately complete by the 12th of June. I am encouraged by the eval. Aiden has definitely come so far in such a short time. Shannon says that she thinks that he's done amazingly well in the time since his 1st intensive. I am excited by his attention to tasks today. He seems more able to pay attention to what he's doing. As well, he was not combative or fussy during therapy. I was concerned that this would be a problem.

Please pray that I am able to rest in the Lord as He works in Aiden through therapy. Currently, I am taking a graduate class on line; pray that I am able to keep up. Finally, pray that Aiden responds well to therapy; that he is willing to work even when the work is hard.

You are all such a blessing to me; knowing that there are people faithfully remembering us as we embark on this leg of our journey is such an encouragement.

Blessings to all,
Christa
PS. I have left my card reader at home so pics will come soon.

We start back to intensive on Tuesday May 26!

Hi Friends,
This is just a quick message to let you know that we will be heading back to Hope therapy for our 2nd intensive. We will complete another 45 hours of PT in 15 days in hope that Aiden will respond to the work positively.

I am a little nervous about the process. I believe that there was less stress with our first intensive because there was not any expectation for success. This time I have ideas of what could be, and am afraid that perhaps this will not be as significant for Aiden. Also, as a family, we pretty much put our lives on hold. I don't want to feel like we have "wasted" the time. There is always something riding on an experience like this; I just don't want to feel like everything is!!

Please pray that all of us make the transition from our regular schedule to the "camp Grandma" schedule. Pray that Aiden is strong and willing to be directed in his PT activities. Finally, pray that I find encouragement and hope in this process.

Thank you all and blessings,
Christa

Please forgive me!!!

Dear Friends,
I am so sorry that I have been so unfaithful to keep up this blog. I have let life and busyness keep me from taking the time to put my thoughts and feelings, as well as Aiden's on-going progress, down in print. Keeping this journal has been so very helpful in allowing me to plot Aiden's progress and my own personal growth.

To catch everyone up to speed I'll let you know where we are today! (By the way, it is Mother's Day :) Currently, Aiden is walking with great ease and with relative fluidity. He is not using his arms to turn/rotate his trunk as much as we were seeing several months ago. As well, Aiden is successfully able to push himself up from the floor to a standing position. When we left RHTC in November he was only able to get himself up if he had the assistance of a 3-4 inch platform. So being able to "Dog,Frog and Up" is quite an accomplishment!

Communicatively speaking (is that an oxymoron or is it redundant?), Aiden is still not speaking at all. It has become very obvious to both Dave and me that Aiden is very frustrated with his inability to successfully and easily communicate with us. This having been said, Aiden had an assistive technology evaluation done at Children's Hospital in Richmond last month. I thought that this would provide access to some of the voice recordable switches (like the easy buttons but different) like we tried in November. In reality, it was assessing the plausibility for Aiden to learn to use a computer. Guess what.....he can!!!!!

The assessment gave me the opportunity to see Aiden's little brain at work. I have wondered (and perhaps all of you have) whether or not Aiden had cognitive issues along with his physical limitations. When given the opportunity to identify pictures of objects with a touch screen computer, Aiden was able to successfully choose 8 of 10. In the world of education (especially special ed), 80% is great!!
To say that I was surprised is an understatement. We will be looking forward to getting a touch screen monitor and software to support Aiden's cognitive growth.

We are continuing to encourage Aiden to use hand over hand signing, PECs (picture exchange communication), allowing him to take us to what he wants, and we will try not to anticipate his needs so that he is forced to communicate.

For me personally, I have felt a lot like a desert recently. I have had to continue with graduate classes on line. I successfully completed on in April and began another one the same day. My new class will also focus on the processes the brain goes through while learning. (I am hopeful that maybe I will learn one or two things that will help me understand Aiden's learning process, or will help us to make more neural connections.) The classes, although not terribly taxing, still require time and thought, both things that I feel lacking at this time.

I was diagnosed with a thyroid disorder recently. Hashimoto's thyroiditis is the leading cause of hypothyroidism and is linked to a gluten sensitivity. The thought of taking on living gluten free is overwhelming, so I am attempting to work through this with supplements, and if that is unsuccessful, I will take some form of thyroxin. I mention this because it does help to explain my overwhelming exhaustion, foggy brain feelings and weight gain. (I would love to blame all of my weight issues on Hashimoto's, but I am sure that the 1/2 lb of chocolate yesterday didn't help!!) :)

I thank you all for your continued prayers. I believe that there are probably days when you think of us and pray without knowing why. Bless you for those. We will be embarking on a second intensive therapy session beginning the 25th of May. This will continue through the 12th of June followed by a dental procedure (requiring general anesthesia) on the 16th of June at MCV hospital. I will do my best to keep you all informed and up to speed.

As in other posts I have asked for your prayers for others. Our friend Shannon (Aiden's therapist in Richmond) is having some serious health concerns. She was diagnosed with Celiacs disease about 4 weeks ago. Shannon is feeling terrible with joint pain, brain fog, insomnia and nausea; she needs significant prayer support. Please pray that she will begin to find relief from this illness.

Blessings and peace to you all,
~Christa
PS. For all of the people who bless children (moms or ladies who are like moms--have a great day!!)

We have the results...

I am not a morning person. I took this picture so that I could prove that despite my reputation as someone in need of serious coffee prior to a good morning conversation I was chipper and ready for our trip to MCV for Aiden's MRI. (It was a little depressing to go to the car for a drive and still see the moon though.) As most of you know this MRI was a follow up. It was scheduled to make sure that the initial diagnosis, PVL, was truly the diagnosis. I was apprehensive. If the results showed something different, what? If the results were the same then why was Aiden's speech effected? The waiting is truly the longest part of much of the medical process.

But we headed to the hospital, found our way to the radiology department (which by the way, at 6:30 am on a Monday is completely deserted---the receptionist wasn't even there!!!), and prepared to turn our youngest child over to complete strangers. Strangers who we knew were going to poke, prod, stick and tape our child; give him medicine that we knew would make him sick, all in the hopes of making him better.

Aiden's procedure (funny how they refer to anything medical as a "procedure" like we couldn't understand or pronounce what was happening anyway so the medical profession decides to save us idiots) went well. He was returned to us in the recovery room about an hour after we left him. He was crying as he came out of the anesthesia; then he was vomitting. But all in all it went well. We got a copy of the MRI on CD and headed home.

We were all rather exhausted when we got home. Dad sacked out on his bed to catch some zees and Dave and I flopped out watching TV. Aiden took a good nap after lunch and a good dose of Curious George. Needless to say it was a draining experience for all of us

All of this is to say that I called the doctor's office to get the results: nothing has changed, nothing new to be seen and nothing was missed the first time around. In one sense of the word this is good news. Aiden does not have a degenerative brain disease that will render him unable to function in 10 years. He is not suffering from tumors that will slowly take my son from me. On the other hand, we have no new information to help us help Aiden. There isn't an explanation for his lack of speech or refusal to sign. There are no answers except this:

Aiden is who he is.

I cannot change this and it is obvious to me that the Lord did not want to change it for me at this time. I know that my Heavenly Father does not desire that I hurting or am disheartened. He does, however, desire my faithfulness and trust. He wants me to rest in Him. I must admit, I am a fixer; the kind of person who wants to make situations right. I need to have the answers or at least a plan. Well, here is a news flash---the only answers leave me with more questions and I don't have a plan. Truly, I am doing alright with this today. (Tomorrow maybe not so much.) So for today I will leave Aiden at the foot of the cross.

Please continue to pray for us. We are heading into a time when we will have to make decisions concerning the hiring of care providers to help with Aiden in our home. We want to make good choices for our family. Thank you for your support and encouragement.

Blessings to all,

Christa

Aiden walks!!

Hello Friends. I am so sorry that I am having a hard time keeping up with you all. My class is taking longer than I expected and I am working hard to organize some help for our family. This all having been said I do have a couple of updates for you.

First and foremost, Aiden is walking. He's not just using his gait trainer with great agility. He's not cruising around the living room. He is actually walking; on his own! Seriously, he stands up (still using a chair, couch,etc. to get up) and he goes. Sundays are probably his favorite days. In church we have a wide carpeted area with lots of room to walk. Thus his love for Sunday. Aiden just goes and goes. This past Sunday I had to grab him several times as he headed down the center aisle. A friend teased, saying that maybe Aiden was heading up to give his testimony. I believe that in truth Aiden is a testimony of God's faithfulness.

We took Aiden to MCV on Monday for a second MRI. I have not yet gotten any results and our expectation is that nothing will be different from the first done in April. However, since we are considering adult stem cell therapy it is imperative that we make sure Aiden's problems come from brain damage, not genetic difficulties. (We have also been to the geneticist to have a more in depth gene test done.) Aiden did very well with the actual test process. He had to be anesthetized (that makes me terribly nervous), but they did not have to intebate him to insure an airway.

I brought home a CD of the MRI scans. It is rather amazing to look at the inside of my child's brain. Through my class I have looked at brain research and the areas of the brain. This information has definitely come in handy in the last week. In looking at the MRI I was able to identify several of the internal parts of the brain. It was really neat (for lack of a better word). This having been said, I really don't know what I am looking at, nor do I know what I am looking for in terms of Aiden's brain damage or functioning. We will have to wait for the doctor to let us know what the results are. (Just so you know, I don't wait well!!)

There is still no speech from my little man. I am struggling with being very negative and frustrated about this. It is not just that Aiden is not speaking, it is that he seems unaware of the process of language. He does not seem to understand that either sign, pictures or vocalizations equal a response. I have certainly cried many tears wondering if my little guy will ever really get it. But this week speech therapy was different. Usually I put Aiden down and he immediately heads out the door. This week he took his therapist's hand, walked into the therapy room and found the toys. What a difference a day (or a week) makes.

For me, speech seems to be the next big step; the next developmental milestone that we need to pass. To long for the sound of your child saying, "I love you", and not knowing if that will ever happen can be heart breaking. I realize that there are others, parents of children who are much more involved than Aiden, who will never hear those words; for them my heart hurts. I have learned, however, that in the grand scheme of things, those words are not the most important. Instead it is the state of the heart of the child and the love of the parent that really matter.

I do question when I will get to the point when the love I have will override the worldly expectations in my heart. It is ultimately unfair to Aiden and the rest of my family for me to focus on my own desires for him. I am learning to focus on the blessings.....Dave who supports me with both Aaron and Addison and with Aiden.....Aaron and Addison who (mostly) bring great laughter, fun and joy......Aiden who's smile lights up the sky and who teaches me about hard work. Please continue to pray for this work in my heart.

Thank you all so much for the prayer support that you provide. Your prayers are being answered!!! Aiden is walking!! I am learning!! We are growing as a family in our understanding of each other and the Lord!

Blessings to you all,
~Christa

A walk in someone else's shoes

I had the priviledge and honor of sitting to eat with some rather amazing ladies last night. I met with a moms' group that gets together in Richmond monthly to chat, eat and maybe drink a margarita (or 2)!! What do we talk about? Well, all of us have children with disabilities.

Some children are extremely involved; some children are not. Some have of the kids have disabilities that you've heard of; some are so rare that only a handful of people worldwide are effected. But all of these children have something in commom; they all have moms who love them and are dedicated to providing the highest quality of life possible for them.

Sitting with these ladies last night reminded me that we all wear different shoes. Some are comfortable and easy to slip on like old tennis shoes; the kind that you're comfortable wearing when your best friend comes over. Some are black and shiny; the kind you put on when you want to make a good impression. Some are tight and really squeeze your toes, but you wear them because they're what people expect (and you wouldn't want to disappoint anyone). And there are the ever present work boots; the ones that seem to get the most wear, but are the least stylish; definitely not fashionable, but servicable.

Last night I met ladies who have been wearing their work boots for years. They have seen their kids through orthotics, walkers, feeding clinics, physical therapy, speech therapy, surguries, genetic testing, MRIs, etc. (There are procedures that I can't pronounce much less spell, and the list seems to go on forever!!) Some moms are new to the wearing of the boots; they are working them in so the fit is liveable. But, no matter where they are on the road to providing for their children, there is a camaraderie that can only exist because of the journey itself. (my work boots :)
So, what kind of shoes am I wearing? I ask myself that all of the time; what am I willing to show people around me today. Am I willing to be transparent enough to wear my work boots all of the time? Honestly, there have been times when I would rather wear my black patents because I would like to be someone else; change the road that the Lord has placed me on. But I have found that although they are beautiful on the outside, they are not the best fit; not all that comfortable. I have delegated them to date night. (You can imagine just how seldomly I wear them!!!) On those days when I can manage to spend the day in my 'jammies I wear my comfy shoes (and if you really know me you realize that I wear them with my comfy pants). These days also are few and far between. I have boxed up my toe squeezers. They're on the top shelf of the closet and may even end up in the give away pile. (I don't have time to live up to someone else's expectations of me.)

That only leaves the work boots. So I don them every morning before I head out. They are actually not too bad to look at. (They are pictured above! :) They usually fit pretty well. Its ok if they get muddy they can be wiped off. They're waterproof and have steel toes so they provide some protection. I am actually learning to enjoy wearing them. I may even be able to pull them off as a fashion statement one day. But whether or not that happens, I will walk in my work boots on this road well travelled by other moms. And just like they have paved this road for me, I will do my best to do the same for others.

Thanks for reading. I would like to ask that those of you who pray continue to do so for Shannon and her family. They have had a terrible season; sickness around every corner. RSV is in their home again. Pray that Makayla does not contract it again. Blessings to you all,

Christa

I have not fallen off the face of the earth!!

This is just a note to let you all know that I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Actually, I have started a graduate class on line in order to maintain my Virginia teaching licence. That having been said, you can imagine that with our therapies, home schooling and laundry (the never ending chore), I am finding it hard to make time to blog. I will set aside time this week to fill you all in on what's happening with us.

Hope that all of you are well. I continue to pray for you as we brave 2009 and the challenges that seem to be on the horizon. Know that we appreciate your prayers and I will do my best to keep you all better informed of Aiden's (and my) progress.

Blessings to you all,
Christa

A quick update

I really haven't given you all much information concerning Aiden's progress recently. I decided that tonight I would give you an update. He has definitely had some ups and downs.

So here we go. For those of you who are interested in Aiden's physical therapy it is actually going well. He is stepping up well, using both his left and right legs. He still shows a preference for the left, but repetition with the right leg is helping. He is also getting the idea of how to step down. Until recently, when he stepped down his supporting leg would collapse. This week he was able to step down 6 out of 10 times without collapsing.

Aiden's therapy typically begins with weight lifting. Since our time in Richmond we have struggled to get Aiden to use his ABductors (the muscles that allow you to side step). He could get a little hip movement (hip hike) but mostly he was squeezing his gluties. This week we achieved not only hip hikes but actual movement!!! You may be sitting there thinking "Big deal, so the kid can move his legs in and out." But for those of us who have worked so hard for this, it means that another motor movement has been mapped and he is able to differentiate the between his glutes, hip flexors and abductors.

I am having to leave much of my work undone (not that I really mind or that anyone would really notice) because Aiden is now doing a lot of independent walking. He is standing himself up (usually from a chair or a stool) and going. I am having to follow him around to make sure that if he falls he falls forward. Actually, he has fallen backwards several times in the last several weeks, and he is definitely bending at the knees! This is a huge relief for Dave and me. It means that Aiden is learning to protect his head; no helmet for us right now.

Finally, Aiden is beginning to play; really play. No he isn't putting puzzles together and he isn't playing Candyland, but he is finding enjoyment in toys. He is sitting and using toys. He is interacting with us as he plays, and he is taking turns with me. Aiden is also learning to kick a ball (on purpose). It is exciting to watch as lights begin to come on for Aiden.

He is still not signing at all. We actually are not encouraging any signing in order to cause Aiden to stop using the juice sign for everything. His use of the single sign has decreased to almost nothing. This is a good thing according to our speech therapist. She feels that perhaps we pushed Aiden expressively. I am not 100% sure that I agree, but at this time I will follow the plan. We are working on Aiden's receptive language skills and he seems to be following more and longer directions. I asked him to come to me and sit down in his little chair the other day. He totally followed the directions. I was really surprised and thrilled.

There are some really good things happening right now. I continue to struggle with the speed of his development and with the fear that he will always struggle to move and communicate, but the Lord is faithful to move us to places where we can receive His healing. (Guess I'm going to have to make many moves in my future!)

Blessings to all and continue to pray for Shannon and her family. Thank you for all of your support and encouragement.
Blessings,
Christa

Into the new year

We are blessed to have a rather large extended family. Many of them we see throughout the year, some we only see on special occasions. We decided to begin the new year with a visit to Gran.

Gran is my very special grandma thus making her Aiden's (and Aaron's and Addison's) very special great-grandma. Gran lives in Richmond, but because of the nature of her health issues and the institutional setting in which she lives it is a treat for her to see Aiden. He was actually really excited to visit because Gran's nursing home has long tiled halls. We
brought his gait trainer along for the visit, and he was off like a shot. It was unfortunate that the resident in the room next to Gran really liked to watch TV with the volume up. Aiden heard the sound of the police show that was on and made a bee line to the gentleman's door. It was like taking candy from a very angry baby when we moved him back to Gran's room.

This aside, Gran was able to see Aiden and watch as he traveled the halls. There have been times when they were both in physical therapy at the same time, and Gran has called to encourage Aiden to keep up the good (hard) work. I miss the days when Gran was able to do those things, and despite the fact that at this time she may not always understand what is happening, I know that this woman; one who traveled weekly to see me in NOVa when I was a child, would do the same for my little one if she could.


















My family continues to be a great help and support for me. We stayed through the new year with my parents. During this time Aiden decided that he would no longer use the signs that had become common. He just stopped signing everything but juice. I was devastated. I realize that we will come up against obstacles on this journey, but this did not seem like an obstacle. It felt to me like I had come to the edge of a cliff and just stepped off. I cried and cried; simply curled up on the floor and wept.

So what, you may be asking, caused this apparent lapse in Aiden's

















communication?
Why did he stop signing everything but juice? I don't know; our therapist doesn't know; the people who answer questions on the Internet don't know. My tears were my only option; my only release.

Honestly, I cried out to the Lord. I cried and cried out to Him. I felt like I was in a box and I couldn't get out and God couldn't get in. (Logically speaking I know that my emotions are really not to be trusted. God on the other hand, is always to be trusted.)

So how do you get beyond the feeling that you're praying to the ceiling? I began to focus on the blessings that I do have. Yes, things are not exactly as I had imagined they would be. Sure I expected that my son would not face the challenges that we see everyday. Of course I would like our situation to be different. Still, I am blessed with a child who faces each new morning with joy. He smiles more than he cries. He finds humor in little things. He brings me new understanding of my own purpose in this world. Aiden is teaching us all about acceptance and grace.

Yes, I had a bad couple of days. Yes, it is just another step on the path that we are taking on this journey to become more like Jesus. Fortunately there is hope for the future. In Isaiah 61:3-4 the prophet speaks of what Jesus will do for God's children; for me, for my family, for those who love the Lord:
" He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to provide freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance for our God, to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair..."

I want to wear that garment of praise and my crown of beauty. I want those of you who read to do the same. We have been given a blessing in those gifts. They remove the world's hold on us and free us to live for the Lord. Live with that freedom.

Thank you all for your prayers. I sincerely covet them. They get me through the days when I am standing on the edge; when I can only see the ashes. As well, I have spoken to Shannon recently. Please pray for health for her household. Both Makayla and Ariana have strep throat. It is the 3rd(?) major illness in her home since November. Also, continue to pray for marriages.

Blessings to you all,
Christa

A word on marriage

Marriage can be difficult; taking two completely different and independent people and placing them in a relationship that requires give and take, self-sacrifice and compromise. How in the world does it work? The reality is that sometimes it seems overwhelming and not always worth the effort.

The first several weeks of Dave's and my marriage threatened to be the only weeks of our marriage. Due to excessive stress, Dave's 80 hour a week work schedule, and other health issues, I was not happy about being married. I remember sitting down with Dave and telling him that marrying him was the biggest mistake of my life and I was stuck with him forever!!! It was terrible. (It was only 3 weeks into marriage!)

I know how distressing it can be to feel like you are sinking in a swamp of discontent and misery. I remember how depressed and lonely I felt. It was as if God had called me into a relationship that would never succeed. (Actually, I have called this the Prozac period in my life, despite the lack of pharmaceuticals!!) Fortunately, both God and Dave are faithful.

I believe that marriage it ordained by God; that it is a blessing and a gift, but I know that it is also hard work. I know that there are days when Dave and I each wonder exactly what it is that the Lord wants us to learn through our marriage. Let's be honest, it is a difficult course with a hard teacher in a tough school. (But I like to think that I am an over achiever and will eventually make a decent grade!!)

Right now in the lives of many married couples there are difficulties. Marriage is under such attack. If the family is destroyed than despair rules and trust, love and security are broken; the ability of children to see a loving heavenly Father is obscured. Hopelessness becomes the norm.

In the last several weeks I have watched a family fall apart. The wife cares for 3 small children; one child with a disability, the husband is in a high stress job protecting the public. Maintaining a marriage is challenging. Add in a child with a disability or a high stress job and the challenges multiply. Both in a marriage---overwhelming. I don't know if this couple will be able to overcome this damaging situation.

Please pray for marriages today. Pray that couples will communicate honestly and lovingly. Ask the Lord to provide understanding. Pray for marriages that are in crisis; for healing and renewal. Finally, if you know families with challenging situations: spouses in the service, fire fighters, police, children with disabilities, long-term illnesses; be available to help. Be aware that they may need someone to talk to, a couple to come along beside them and mentor them.

Thank you so much for your prayers.
Blessings to all,
Christa

All I want for Christmas.....

Sometimes children have the ability to tell you exactly what will thrill them on Christmas morning. Sometimes what they tell you would be the perfect gift turns out not to be what was expected and there is much disappointment and disillusionment. As a parent you would like to give your kids what they want (within reason of course), but that does not always happen.

It is an extra challenge with Aiden because he cannot tell us what toy would make his kid dreams come true. So we searched high and low looking for a toy that is action packed, brightly colored, easy to operate, very sturdy, and won't break the bank. This Christmas we got him a little train.

It runs on it's own track or runs on floor. Having both options is super because the likelihood that the train will eventually be on floor is great. It starts up by either pushing on the head of the engineer, or
by pushing on the button the engineer sits on. It has 3 figures, a monkey, an elephant, and the engineer. They are rubbery plastic and can be chewed on if the desire over takes you. (This desire overtakes Aiden on a momentary basis.)

The whole set is compact for storage and small for playing. It was relatively inexpensive, and not too difficult to find. Mostly, though, Aiden seems to really like it.

Last Christmas Aiden was really not very interested in any of the festivities. He was still not very mobile and if it wasn't TV he just couldn't focus on the gift. It was a little disheartening to watch. As a Christmas baby, I usually find much excitement in the process of Christmas as well as the joy of giving gifts. Aiden did not find the joy in the process.

Perhaps that is why I had such a hard time entering into the Christmas spirit this year. I know that I blamed it on Thanksgiving two weeks ago, but maybe it was an attempt to guard against being disappointed. (OK, so I sometimes over-analyze things. Who really knows what my subconscious is thinking??)

Thankfully, this year was a little different. Aiden did enter into the excitement more. He at least acknowledged the gift, if not the excitement of receiving it. And he did actually play. It is not typical for him to play for any extended period of time. Christmas day he did.

I continue to learn from Aiden. I am personally blessed to have such a dear little teacher. (In all actuality, it could definitely be less pleasant.) Jesus said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:30) I am choosing to accept the yoke and the burden from the Lord. I will allow Him to carry the things that I am certainly not able in my own strength to carry. Those things only weigh me down and steal the joy that I can hold on to in order to get through each day.

I am also learning to accept the gift(s) that my Heavenly Father has given me. Matthew 7:11 says, "If you then, evil as you are know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and adventageous gifts to those who keep on asking Him!! I have been given good gifts. It is imperative that I remind myself of this when the voices of discouragement try to convince me otherwise. It is not only important for me personally, but for all of us, and in any situation, to find the blessings of the "good gifts". So, keep your eyes on the gifts. Remember that they are given by the One who can only give good gifts.

Blessings to you all.

~Christa

PS Notice the last picture. Do you see anyone familiar (other than Aiden)? Yes, it is Girlfriend!!! (If you don't know Girlfriend, check back to late Oct.)

Twas the night before Christmas...

I've mentioned our friends at Pufferbellies Toys several times. They have been an encouragement to us as a family since they opened their doors. As well, without any real explanation from us, Susan and Erin Blanton were willing to donate to Hope Foundation,and follow Aiden's progress during intensive.

Unfortunately, with the busyness of this time of the year, Aiden and I had not been in the shop since we returned from our adventure in physical therapy. So on the 24th of December (thus the title:) all of us headed downtown. We didn't have any real shopping to do. It just seemed important to see the ladies at Pufferbellies.

It is always a treat to visit because there is such an air of love for both children and the toy business. The store is packed with great games, toys that encourage imagination, old favorites and books to entice even the most uninterested reader. There is a train table, a library nook, art and craft supplies, legos, playmobil and dollies. (Can you tell that I love this store?!!) And this year, the windows are so enchanting. I was raised on the windows at Miller and Rhodes and Thalhiemers in Richmond. Not quite Macy's in NY, but in my mind, close!!

We walked in with all of the kids and were greeted by the ladies behind the counter. Whether they know us by name I'm not sure, but they welcomed us graciously. Aiden and I walked to the back to see the train table. A former Lee High student (I am so sorry to
have forgotten her name because she is so sweet) hugged me and let me know how wonderful Aiden seemed to be doing. She must have gone to get Susan because she came out of the office to see us.

Susan watched as Aiden played and walked around the table. He was doing his best to set little wooden cars on the track while keeping his balance. I think that she was impressed with the improvement that she saw in Aiden.

Erin met us as Aiden was heading up the ramp (towards the front door!!). She sat down with us as Aiden grabbed her thumb and walked up the ramp. He pulled her to go with him. With a great feeling of gratefulness I watched my son. He was working so hard to have some independence.

Erin and I stood up to accommodate Aiden's trek to the front door. I caught her eye as we moved forward. As I have been in the past, she was moved to tears. I don't know if it was because of the sheer effort that Aiden was exerting; more likely it was wonder at his determination, joy in his accomplishment, and maybe a little sadness that it seems so difficult. I am continually amazed at the range of emotions that run through me at such times. I could only reach forward and hug Erin. No words (except, "don't you do this!") would have been truly appropriate.

We left shortly after this encounter. The store was closing early and Aiden was ready for a nap. I was glad that we had stopped by. As we were driving out of the parking lot I watched Susan take in the giraffe and the open sign down. I mentioned that I was glad that we had stopped in. Dave said, "As I was walking out Susan stopped me. She said that bringing Aiden had really made their Christmas." What a blessing that we have such encouragement in our lives.

Thank you to all who are doing their best to encourage our family or other families like ours. Your love and support are truly appreciated, even if you are not thanked enough. We appreciate your prayers and would continue to ask you to lift us to the Lord.

Blessings to all,

Christa