Sometimes when you're not looking forward to an event the time leading up to it is really rather unpleasant. I have experienced some of that over the last several days. I have feared the unknown; what should I expect; would this time be successful; are we chasing after outcomes that are unrealistic? I have been facing down this particular spirit of doubt for the last several weeks. The thing is that I know that this is a particular attack aimed at bringing me down and directing the focus away from the miraculous.
I realized as we entered the center yesterday for our evaluation and the beginning of this new session that I have no control over any of this. It is not my situation. I can try to control the therapy, the child, the outcome (the traffic, the way my dad makes coffee.....) to no avail. It is a "Christa's hands off" program. I am not in control.
I have a hard time letting go. In much of my life things feel very out of control so I hold on to what little I can to find a sense of purpose; to have a focus. (I find it really funny that I have been trying to control the outcomes of Aiden's therapy when Aiden himself is what makes much of my life seem out of control.) I can no more control the sun rise or the rain fall than my life. If I accept that then I would be able to truly rest in the Lord. Oh to learn to rest in the Lord.
These personal issues aside, Aiden tolerated the eval yesterday and his first session today very well. We are six hours down on the 45 that we will ultimately complete by the 12th of June. I am encouraged by the eval. Aiden has definitely come so far in such a short time. Shannon says that she thinks that he's done amazingly well in the time since his 1st intensive. I am excited by his attention to tasks today. He seems more able to pay attention to what he's doing. As well, he was not combative or fussy during therapy. I was concerned that this would be a problem.
Please pray that I am able to rest in the Lord as He works in Aiden through therapy. Currently, I am taking a graduate class on line; pray that I am able to keep up. Finally, pray that Aiden responds well to therapy; that he is willing to work even when the work is hard.
You are all such a blessing to me; knowing that there are people faithfully remembering us as we embark on this leg of our journey is such an encouragement.
Blessings to all,
Christa
PS. I have left my card reader at home so pics will come soon.
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