Friday Fiasco

​There are days that start out with a bang. Friday was that kind of day. After getting up and getting Aiden and myself ready for PT, I loaded Aiden into his wheelchair and headed to the car. I didn’t realize that the repair I’d made to the chair would cause the front wheel to lock, but lock it did. And Aiden went sailing out onto his knees. My mom then proceeded to fall off the side of the ramp getting herself stuck with one foot up and one on the ground. I couldn’t help either of them. Mom was gripping my arm and I was gripping the wheelchair (keeping it from rolling down over Aiden).

Eventually I helped Mom get her footing and I rolled the wheelchair around Aiden. He was unscathed by the fall. I, on the other hand, felt like a terrible mom. Then the images began forming in my mind; the pictures of someone catapulting out of a wheelchair. I giggled. Then I laughed. Then I wished my folks had exterior cameras. (So, yes I really am a terrible mom!!!😂).

The situation that we find ourselves in with Aiden is serious. Both Dave and I are very aware of the ramifications of Aiden’s physical limitations. But we also know that there are days when our ability to find the laughter and joy get us over the rough spots. We do our best to find the good, the joyful, the lovely things, making sure our focus is on Jesus. Job 8:31 is a reminder that the Lord “will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy”. Remember laughing is a good thing.

Blessings to you.

~ Christa 

You Have This…

Today I know that you, Jesus, have everything under control. The things, the circumstances that seem to overwhelm, they have no power. Isaiah 43:1-3 is a reminder that nothing that comes at me today (or any day) has the power to destroy me... But now, this is what the LORD says, He who is your Creator,Jacob, And He who formed you, Israel: DO NOT FEAR (emphasis mine), for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are MINE!



When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the LORD you God, the Holy one of Israel, your Savior... Thank you Jesus for protection when things in life seems overwhelming. Thank you for supporting me, and for giving me the opportunities to building up others. Blessings on this Sunday. ~ Christa

Since it's been so long since I've posted, I thought a quick summary of the last several years would be helpful. Here goes. Our last visit to Hope therapy was about 15 years ago. Aiden got better and better at walking. He went up and down stairs independently. We were able to go places and do things with relative ease. Aiden hit 13 and a growth spurt that caused him to have lots of pain when walking. Dave and I felt like maybe we should head back to Hope for an evaluation and and an intensive. What we ended up with was a referral to see an orthopedist. Aiden's diagnosis: bowing in his tibias and femurs. It was so bad that by the time we had surgery in November 2022 (age 17), Aiden's left fibula was weight-bearing. Aiden had 4 titanium rods in his legs and gained 2" in height. We rehabbed him at home over 6 months with hime health. Unfortunately, the scoliosis that we had been watching, had gotten considerably worse. Dave and I knew more surgery was on the horizon.

It got to a point where Aiden's spine was so curved that it was going to begin causing other health issues. We planned the procedure for January 2025; a date that has literally changed our lives. The suergery itself was successful from the point of view that Aiden's back is straighter and won't get worse, however, he lost the use of his right quad, effectively taking away his ability to walk. Our kiddo who had never been in a wheelchair, now needed one. On topof that, Aiden had 2 hopital acquired illnesses. All told, we spent 55 days in the PICU or rehab in Richmond. This brings us so much closer to today. Aiden's doctor felt sure that we would see improvement by 1 year. That hasn't happened. We are now trying to find a way for Aiden to regain some mobility, but it is an uphill fight. You miht be wondering where I am with Jesus. He could easily fix this problem with Aiden; reach down and heal all of Aiden's nerve issues, make it an easier road. Trust me when I say that I have asked the Lord (many times actually), why this is happening to a kiddo who has done nothing to deserve this "punishment". My heart has broken over how hard this is on Aiden; how hard he has to work, and how much this has changed our lives. The struggle is real for me. I don't see the big picture, but I'mpretty sure I couldn't handle it if it was right befire my eyes. So my only choice is to sit before Jesus and wait. My faith is being stretched in ways that I couldn't imagine. Some days I sail through some days feel like a trip up Everest. At least I am still on the road (althiugh some days it's only the shoulder!!). Thankyou for taking the time to read this super long post. We appreciate your prayers and encouragement. I will post some pics from our current PT adventure soon. BTW, the top pic is Aiden 2 weeks after Aiden's spine surgery. The second is his spine a year before the operatiom.

We’re Back

So much has happened since my last post and our last visit to Hope Therapy. I am hopeful that our journey to this place in our lives will be a blessing to you. I will take more time tomorrow to fill in years of gaps in this current adventure. Looking forward to sharing Aiden's adventure. Blessings to you, Christa

A gift on Sunday

I wish that I could print pictures from my brain. If I could I would play back my church service from this last Sunday. Let me try to describe it for you.

In our church there is an area between the back row of seats and the back wall. It's open and carpeted and perfect for a little guy who likes to walk around, read a book or snack on cookies during church. It's where we usually make camp on Sunday mornings. So when I stepped onto the platform in the front of the sanctuary with the choir I looked for my men in the back. Neither Dave nor Aiden were there.

Our choir director was sharing some scripture that had really spoken to her and was talking about the song we were going to sing (Never let Go). I have to admit that I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have because I was still looking for Aiden. That's when I saw him. He had walked down the side aisle and was peeking around the front pew.

Aiden did the rounds; he visited with Pam as she spoke, visited with the pastor's wife, the elder and his wife. He walked to the other side of the sanctuary and looked at the kids sitting in the front. He walked over to one of our exchange students who promptly scooped him into her lap where he stayed until the song was over and then he returned down the center aisle to visiting on his way back to Dave.

"Yeah, that's cute Christa, but what's the big deal?" you may be saying to yourself. Well here it is. Firstly, I had just shared with the congregation what you read in my last blog...that I had been questioning God's wisdom in placing Aiden with us and that I realized that I needed to rely on the Lord's power for my strength. Secondly, God, in His grace and wisdom, has placed us in a church family where Aiden, instead of being seen as a problem or a distraction, is seen as a gift and a miracle. The elder or his wife, the choir director or the pastor's wife could easily have whisked Aiden back to Dave and rebuked us later for allowing our child to wander in during the service. Instead, I was encouraged to remember that Aiden is not only a miracle to my family, but also to our collective church family; that he is a blessing and reminds people of God's faithfulness and love. Finally, I was reminded by Aiden's walk around that God has allowed me to have some part in this child's progress.

I cried as we sang "Oh no, You never let go through the calm and through the storm. Oh no You never let go in every high and every low. Oh no You never let go. Lord you'll never let go of me." He won't ever let go. I can trust that even on the days when I feel like I have totally blown it and I want to hang up my mommy crown He will carry me; even in the middle of the night when I can't figure out why my son is running a fever or my older kids refuse to comply I can trust that He will guide me (if I listen). He'll never let me go.

Blessings to you all on this day.
Christa

So you think things are under control

You know how sometimes you think that you have everything under control; the clothes are washed and put away, the dishes are done, the toilets are clean and the kids are behaving? Everything seems to be in order and life is good. Then the dam breaks and all of the under control things become the out of control things! This has been my life for the last several weeks (actually since December 27th). "What in the world happened?", you may be asking yourself. Well, I am going to give you the short (though not sweet) version of the last 2 months.


The evening of December 27th Aiden did something to his foot/ankle. We really don't know what happened, but suffice it to say, we ended up in the ER with Aiden unable to take weight on his left foot. He was put into a splint to immobilze his knee (because that was where we thought the injury was) and we headed home. Turns out the reason that he whimpered all night was because the injury was to his foot/ankle and it was totally unprotected!!! So to the orthopedist we went the next day where Aiden was put in a walking boot.


I thought that all was well until Friday (Dec 31) when the skin on Aiden's ankle showed some blistering. Because of the way his ankle rolls in it was rubbing on the metal brace. Skin break down is a really bad thing so the splint had to be changed. (Just for fun, let's see how many of you know how many doctors are in the office on New Years Eve day?) I spent an hour on the phone trying to find the ortho on call, have him call me back, etc. Finally, we ended up in the same ER having them build a posterior splint. We had difficulty two more times with his splinting. It was so bad that at one point during the five week recooperation time Aiden had to stay strapped into his stroller to keep him off of his foot.


January 25th provided us with a clean bill of health from the orthopedist!!! Aiden was released to walk to his heart's content (and he has)!


Just over a week later (8 days to be exact) Aiden began vomitting (and vomitting and vomitting). He vomitted 18 times in 2 hours. It was like a massive barf-a-rama! Turns out this was the start of influenza; you know the respiratory thing! He ran a fever of in excess of 103 without ibuprofen for 8 days. It took another 4 or 5 days for him to start feeling like himself again. Although Addison and I managed to dodge the influenza bullet, Dave and Aaron succumbed to the virus. It was miserable around our house; hacking, coughing, snot everywhere. We went through 5 or 6 boxes of tissues in 4 days! ( I should buy stock in Kleenex!)


As everyone began showing real signs of recovery I drew a deep breath of relief; finally we were all healthy. I should have waited just a couple of days. This past Wednesday I woke up exhausted. Aiden had been whimpering all night long. I knew that something was wrong, but he was never awake so I just listened; all night long. I got him up early and we went down stairs just in time for the vomitting to begin. ("Not again", you may be saying...imagine what I was saying :) Seems that Aiden, almost over night, became constipated! Ughh!!! Just when you think things are smooth sailing (there is no sailing). Two enimas and three doses of Miralax later and things are finally moving normally. I never thought that I would be so glad to have to change a poopy diaper.


Last night, as I pondered all that has gone on over the last two months I came to a conclusion. I have been working this program on my own. I have not been trusting that the Lord has things in His control. When we started this cycle in December I was just stunned and I could feel myself loosing the battle over despair. I wanted to know how things could be so hard for Aiden and why I wasn't able to protect him. (What a defeating feeling to not be able to protect your child.) The feelings only got worse with each time the splinting didn't work. Once the flu started I was not holding on to the hand of Jesus; it's hard to hold on when you're hiding your face in your hands. My heart was so defeated that I could only hide. Unfortunately, I was not hiding myself in the Lord.


I would love to say that I saw the error of my ways and turned to Jesus for His help, forgiveness and strength. Actually, I grumbled, complained and agrued with the Lord. (Really mature, huh?) Needless to say, it was ineffective. I think the Lord let me wallow so that I could realize that it could be worse, and I was powerless to control it. (Enter the constipation issues!!)


Since this last hurdle happened just this week, I am not beyond this struggle. I am right in the middle and praying that today will bring me one step closer to walking beside my Savior. I know that right now I am being carried since I am so unable to move forward on my own power. I want to find rest, solace, and refreshing in the Lord.

But those who wait on the Lord [who expect, wait for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their power; they shall lift their wings and mount up like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired. Isaiah 40:31 amplified

I want that to be me; on wings, not tired, finding victory over the day to day events that can drag me down. I am waiting on the Lord for guidance and healing.

Thanks for wading through all of this mess. I am sorry that it was long and drawn out, but it has been two months. Please pray that I am able to spend time with Jesus daily and that health descends on my home!

Blessings to you all,

Christa

Christmas morning...thoughts of Mary

I promise that later in the day (or maybe tomorrow) I will have a brighter outlook on this day of days, but right now I am really struggling; with the celebration, the beauty, the uncertainties, the ultimate loss. I look forward to my Christmas miracle and I have ever since we knew that Aiden was different. I haven't seen it yet, but I still hope.


As I await my miracle I realize that this day is in essesnce the celebration of a miracle. More than 2000 years ago a young woman (much younger than me) was entrusted with the responsibility of firstly accepting the fact that she was pregnant, unmarried and still a virgin. Then in the midst of the whole thing was carrying the child that would be the savior of the world; the messiah. I cannot imagine being required to wrap my mind around all of that, much less grasp the enormity as a teenager! (Remember that Mary was probably only 15.)

But this morning, as I have been sitting and really struggling with what I see as the probable outcome for my littlest one, the son of my heart, I wonder at Mary's ability to "treasure" the things that were said about Jesus in "in her heart". Did she truly understand the end result for the child she would raise as her own? Did her heart break a little each day as she realized that with each day that Jesus grew into a man he was walking closer to the end that would ultimately be required of him?

I cry, sometimes daily, for the possible outcomes I see in the future for our Aiden. I cry for myself because it is sometimes so difficult to face each day knowing that "normal" will never be normal for our family. I cry for Aiden because he may never understand; how much we love him, what he could become, what the world holds. Then I cry again because I am so small minded that I don't regularly see what blessings I have been given in the fact that I am priviledged to parent such an amazing child; one who works so hard everyday, who loves as much as he can and gives freely all that he has to give.

All this to say, Thank you Lord Jesus that I am not faced on a daily basis with the fear that my son's ultimate end will be an early death. Did Mary know? Did she know?

Today as you and your families give gifts and enjoy eachother remember how blessed you are. I don't say this because you may be a family with children facing no challenges, I say this because no matter the challenges we are blessed; all of us.

Pray with me today: Thank you Lord for the blessing of all children. Give us eyes to see the gifts that we have each been given; life, love, opportunities to bless others, family, the privilidge to praise and worship the God who created the universe. Show us your will for us this Christmas. In Your name Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us,
Amen.

Blessings to you all this Christmas day,
Christa