Into the new year

We are blessed to have a rather large extended family. Many of them we see throughout the year, some we only see on special occasions. We decided to begin the new year with a visit to Gran.

Gran is my very special grandma thus making her Aiden's (and Aaron's and Addison's) very special great-grandma. Gran lives in Richmond, but because of the nature of her health issues and the institutional setting in which she lives it is a treat for her to see Aiden. He was actually really excited to visit because Gran's nursing home has long tiled halls. We
brought his gait trainer along for the visit, and he was off like a shot. It was unfortunate that the resident in the room next to Gran really liked to watch TV with the volume up. Aiden heard the sound of the police show that was on and made a bee line to the gentleman's door. It was like taking candy from a very angry baby when we moved him back to Gran's room.

This aside, Gran was able to see Aiden and watch as he traveled the halls. There have been times when they were both in physical therapy at the same time, and Gran has called to encourage Aiden to keep up the good (hard) work. I miss the days when Gran was able to do those things, and despite the fact that at this time she may not always understand what is happening, I know that this woman; one who traveled weekly to see me in NOVa when I was a child, would do the same for my little one if she could.


















My family continues to be a great help and support for me. We stayed through the new year with my parents. During this time Aiden decided that he would no longer use the signs that had become common. He just stopped signing everything but juice. I was devastated. I realize that we will come up against obstacles on this journey, but this did not seem like an obstacle. It felt to me like I had come to the edge of a cliff and just stepped off. I cried and cried; simply curled up on the floor and wept.

So what, you may be asking, caused this apparent lapse in Aiden's

















communication?
Why did he stop signing everything but juice? I don't know; our therapist doesn't know; the people who answer questions on the Internet don't know. My tears were my only option; my only release.

Honestly, I cried out to the Lord. I cried and cried out to Him. I felt like I was in a box and I couldn't get out and God couldn't get in. (Logically speaking I know that my emotions are really not to be trusted. God on the other hand, is always to be trusted.)

So how do you get beyond the feeling that you're praying to the ceiling? I began to focus on the blessings that I do have. Yes, things are not exactly as I had imagined they would be. Sure I expected that my son would not face the challenges that we see everyday. Of course I would like our situation to be different. Still, I am blessed with a child who faces each new morning with joy. He smiles more than he cries. He finds humor in little things. He brings me new understanding of my own purpose in this world. Aiden is teaching us all about acceptance and grace.

Yes, I had a bad couple of days. Yes, it is just another step on the path that we are taking on this journey to become more like Jesus. Fortunately there is hope for the future. In Isaiah 61:3-4 the prophet speaks of what Jesus will do for God's children; for me, for my family, for those who love the Lord:
" He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to provide freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance for our God, to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair..."

I want to wear that garment of praise and my crown of beauty. I want those of you who read to do the same. We have been given a blessing in those gifts. They remove the world's hold on us and free us to live for the Lord. Live with that freedom.

Thank you all for your prayers. I sincerely covet them. They get me through the days when I am standing on the edge; when I can only see the ashes. As well, I have spoken to Shannon recently. Please pray for health for her household. Both Makayla and Ariana have strep throat. It is the 3rd(?) major illness in her home since November. Also, continue to pray for marriages.

Blessings to you all,
Christa