The signs of the season

While at church two weeks ago someone said something about trusting the Lord and being willing to move forward with whatever step He had planned; to expect that the Lord had great things (this is all Christa's paraphrased). I sat there and wondered why I stopped seeking other options for Aiden.

Over the last several weeks I have been thinking about my position on Aiden's future. Prior to our visit to Richmond I had been actively seeking information about adult stem cell therapy and I was seeking out programs that provide such treatment. Once we decided to follow through with the intensive therapy I let my search fall to the wayside.

One could argue that I had done so because I was so busy with the therapy program and then with the follow up; that I was focusing on the immediate issues and could pick up with the research when we were finished. I guess that could be the case. It could be that I am still trying to work out the kinks in our schedules here; that to regain some balance and stability I am putting the research off. Reality---I am just a little scared.

To go to China to have adult stem cell therapy would mean a cost of tens of thousands of dollars. It would mean an investment of 20-30 days abroad. It would mean putting my life and the lives of all of my family on hold. It would mean trusting foreign doctors and hospitals. And to expect positive results would be to expect a miracle. I am not sure that I have that kind of faith. I don't know if I could put the life of my child in someone else's hands; let him go.

During this Christmas season I have been focusing on Mary's role in the life of the Savior. I can imagine the confusion and amazement she felt when she realized that she was going to be the mother of God's son; that she was miraculously pregnant. I can only imagine the weight she carried as she contemplated the responsibility of raising such a child to adulthood. And then to hear godly people talk about His future in terms that included rejection and pain; how unbearable for a mother's heart!

But I do understand some of her situation. No, Aiden is not the Messiah!!! He is simply a little boy. I don't have the pressure of raising God's son. I have, however, been engaged to care for and love a little boy who is significantly different. I cannot see Aiden's future, not even a part of it. Fortunately I know who sees it all. Like Mary, I am not alone in caring for Aiden; the Lord God of Israel holds us in His hands.

I want to be like Mary and believe in the miraculous. However, in my heart I am struggling to believe that the Lord has miracles for us; that He wants to "provide a hope and a future" for us. (Actually, I am also a little afraid that His ideas for our future will not be what I want!!) (This is funny when you consider what the Lord has done!) So today as I sat down to have some quiet time with the Lord He gave me the low down on the whole "future" and "miracle" thing.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him. I Corinthians 2:9

This Christmas season I want to believe in miracles. I want a sign, a sign of the season. I want to believe that Aiden will walk and talk, laugh and tell jokes, have friends and one day be in love. I want to know in my heart of hearts that all of God's plans are the best. I believe that today the Lord gave me that verse to remind me of His faithfulness to care for my son and my family.
Thank you Father.

Please continue to pray for our family as we seek to do the best for all of our children. Praise to the Lord as we enter this week before the celebration of Jesus' birth. Praise the Lord that we are almost finished with the therapy room. (As we head towards Christmas I am also thankful for another year personally--my b'day is 12/25). Continue to lift Shannon and her family. I pray that this would be a restful and healthy season for them.

Thank you all so much and blessings to all,
Christa