Christmas morning...thoughts of Mary

I promise that later in the day (or maybe tomorrow) I will have a brighter outlook on this day of days, but right now I am really struggling; with the celebration, the beauty, the uncertainties, the ultimate loss. I look forward to my Christmas miracle and I have ever since we knew that Aiden was different. I haven't seen it yet, but I still hope.


As I await my miracle I realize that this day is in essesnce the celebration of a miracle. More than 2000 years ago a young woman (much younger than me) was entrusted with the responsibility of firstly accepting the fact that she was pregnant, unmarried and still a virgin. Then in the midst of the whole thing was carrying the child that would be the savior of the world; the messiah. I cannot imagine being required to wrap my mind around all of that, much less grasp the enormity as a teenager! (Remember that Mary was probably only 15.)

But this morning, as I have been sitting and really struggling with what I see as the probable outcome for my littlest one, the son of my heart, I wonder at Mary's ability to "treasure" the things that were said about Jesus in "in her heart". Did she truly understand the end result for the child she would raise as her own? Did her heart break a little each day as she realized that with each day that Jesus grew into a man he was walking closer to the end that would ultimately be required of him?

I cry, sometimes daily, for the possible outcomes I see in the future for our Aiden. I cry for myself because it is sometimes so difficult to face each day knowing that "normal" will never be normal for our family. I cry for Aiden because he may never understand; how much we love him, what he could become, what the world holds. Then I cry again because I am so small minded that I don't regularly see what blessings I have been given in the fact that I am priviledged to parent such an amazing child; one who works so hard everyday, who loves as much as he can and gives freely all that he has to give.

All this to say, Thank you Lord Jesus that I am not faced on a daily basis with the fear that my son's ultimate end will be an early death. Did Mary know? Did she know?

Today as you and your families give gifts and enjoy eachother remember how blessed you are. I don't say this because you may be a family with children facing no challenges, I say this because no matter the challenges we are blessed; all of us.

Pray with me today: Thank you Lord for the blessing of all children. Give us eyes to see the gifts that we have each been given; life, love, opportunities to bless others, family, the privilidge to praise and worship the God who created the universe. Show us your will for us this Christmas. In Your name Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us,
Amen.

Blessings to you all this Christmas day,
Christa

A Christmas tradition

Christmas is a very sentimental time for me; not only is it a special holy time in the life of a christian, but it is also my birthday. Therefore, I attempt to keep my focus on the reason we celebrate instead of on the busy-ness. One of the ways that I try to do this is through books; Christmas books and lots of them!

I have repeated several this year: Shepherds Abiding (Jan Karon), Christmas in My Heart (Joe Wheeler). My devotional this year is a repeat too; The Power of a Christmas Prayer (Stormie Ormartian). Of all of the Christmas books that I have read this season this devotional is hands down the most amazing. It puts you in the middle of the lives of Elizabeth, Mary, Zacharias and Joseph. You are able to feel the excitement that Elizabeth and Zacharias felt upon hearing that they would be parents. You are put in the place of a young unmarried woman who finds herself pregnant and you struggle with Joseph to do the best thing in their situation.

I am a little behind in the reading ( I should be somewhere closer to the trek to Egypt). Today I was with the shepherds on the hills outside of Bethlehem. I saw the heavenly hosts, heard the angels as they sang, fell to my knees with wonder that the Lord God Almighty would find me worthy to hear such an announcement. I was (and am) amazed.

The shepherds were lowly people in their society. They were not important to anyone (except the owner of the flock). They made little money, had little power and little significance. They were nobodies. Honestly, there are days when I can relate.

But you know, God found them important enough to hear His heavenly announcement. He saw them as worthy enough to seek out the baby and his parents; to be among the first to worship the Emmanuel, God with us! Their job was to go and see without asking the reasons why. They were blessed because they went. This gives me great insight into the way God sees us. There are no lives without significance in the eyes of our Heavenly Father. We are precious to Him and of great value.

In our home, where we live daily with a child who is different in the eyes of society, we are faced with the chance that someone will look at our little one as less than worthy; insignificant. I have to be reminded that it was to the shepherds angels announced Jesus' birth; through the shepherds that news of Jesus' birth was spread; that shepherds were the first to humbly approach the stable to worship. These lowly men were granted the blessing of all time and through them others were blessed with the news.

Aiden is our shepherd!

I have heard the news that God loves even the lowly. I am seeing that I can live the life of a patient woman. As a family, we are learning to see miracles in the small things daily. I can see the face of Jesus in Aiden's eyes daily.

Friends, as you celebrate the birth of the Son of God, Emmanuel, remember that no one is outside the hand of God; not even the lowly. And on the days when you feel like you are lower than the shepherds remember that God uses the humble and gives them grace for everyday.

O, Come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!!

Christa