As most of you know this MRI was a follow up. It was scheduled to make sure that the initial diagnosis, PVL, was truly the diagnosis. I was apprehensive. If the results showed something different, what? If the results were the same then why was Aiden's speech effected? The waiting is truly the longest part of much of the medical process.But we headed to the hospital, found our way to the radiology department (which by the way, at 6:30 am on a Monday is completely deserted---the receptionist wasn't even there!!!), and prepared to turn our youngest child over to complete strangers. Strangers who we knew were going to poke, prod, stick and tape our child; give him medicine that we knew would make him sick, all in the hopes of making him better.
Aiden's procedure (funny how they refer to anything medical as a "procedure" like we couldn't understand or pronounce what was happening anyway so the medical profession decides to save us idiots) went well. He was returned to us in the recovery room about an hour after we left him. He was crying as he came out of the anesthesia; then he was vomitting. But all in all it went well. We got a copy of the MRI on CD and headed home.
We were all rather exhausted when we got home. Dad sacked out on his bed to catch some zees and Dave and I flopped out watching TV. Aiden took a good nap after lunch and a good dose of Curious George. Needless to say it was a draining experience for all of us
All of this is to say that I called the doctor's office to get the results: nothing has changed, nothing new to be seen and nothing was missed the first time around. In one sense of the word this is good news. Aiden does not have a degenerative brain disease that will render him unable to function in 10 years. He is not suffering from tumors that will slowly take my son from me. On the other hand, we have no new information to help us help Aiden. There isn't an explanation for his lack of speech or refusal to sign. There are no answers except this:Aiden is who he is.
I cannot change this and it is obvious to me that the Lord did not want to change it for me at this time. I know that my Heavenly Father does not desire that I hurting or am disheartened. He does, however, desire my faithfulness and trust. He wants me to rest in Him. I must admit, I am a fixer; the kind of person who wants to make situations right. I need to have the answers or at least a plan. Well, here is a news flash---the only answers leave me with more questions and I don't have a plan. Truly, I am doing alright with this today. (Tomorrow maybe not so much.) So for today I will leave Aiden at the foot of the cross.
Please continue to pray for us. We are heading into a time when we will have to make decisions concerning the hiring of care providers to help with Aiden in our home. We want to make good choices for our family. Thank you for your support and encouragement.
Blessings to all,
Christa
